It was after the birth of my first daughter Hollie, who is 8, that I decided I wanted to be a midwife one day. I didn't really enjoy my pregnancy, it was my 4th and so I was understandably nervous throughout. Tony hammered a nail in the door of the spare room to hang his Everton flag and the baby jumped (we didn't know at this time that the baby was a girl) later that day I had a show, I'm sure caused by the jump, and by lunchtime the next day, 24th December 2000, I was having regular contractions. It was completely surreal to be travelling to the hospital at 4am on Christmas morning. Hollie was born at tea time, and while I'm not going to pretend it didn't hurt, it was an amazing experience, one I quite enjoyed, and I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, it was easy ;-) The next two were equally amazing, without fuss and drama. I quite like labour. I'm very aware how lucky I am to have such easy labours. I was my sisters birth partner in 2004 and she wasn't so lucky, she was drugged up to the eyeballs with everything the hospital had to offer, oblivious the the panic surrounding her. I was awake, in total, for 32 hours, totally worth it, but I had no idea what was going on, but I knew it was bad when the midwife was calling for second opinions and machines were bleeping. Sam was born naturally with a little bit of help, but we later found out that there was a team outside the door ready to whisk her to theatre. This convinced me even more that I needed to do that job, it was terrifying knowing that there were problems but not knowing what they were.
In September 2007 I started an Access to health and Social Care course at West Suffolk College and in January 2009 applied to universities. I applied to 3, UCS in Ipswich, UEA in Norwich and ARU. I really wanted ARU, it's local and offers placements at the Rosie Maternity Hospital but didn't want to limit my chances. As it was UEA didn't offer ma an interview and the UCS interview was awful. I left there knowing I didn't have a chance. The ARU interview went well, but it was the first and I had no idea what was expected of me. I'll never forget the day I logged onto UCAS and saw my status had changed. I wasn't confident, after all, it was my last chance and there had been 2000 applicants for 50 places. The night before I had dreamed that I got in and I was turning into a gibbering emotional wreck who cried about not getting in, but also blubbering at the thought that I might get in. It is not good for your mental state. I clicked that button and recoiled across the room, then, from what I can remember, started jumping screaming and crying (the memory of that moment has almost the same effect) James was terrified, the girls asking me "what's wrong?" when I told them Hollie flew out of the door and up the road to tell Tony. She knew how important it was and was almost as excited as me.
Since then I've been to the uni for an open evening, it's fantastic, I can't wait to get there an get started, and I've been in contact with some others that will be joining me through the SMnet website. But now just waiting to find out where my placement is, I put the Rosie as my first choice and Hinchingbrooke as my second choice, I really want the Rosie, but I'll have to wait and see. I've heard that there will be an induction day next month. I just wish something would happen, I want a letter from the uni so I know it's really happening.
I find the whole process of pregnancy and labour fascinating, it's a total miracle, and something that I want to share. I totally believe, 100%, that this is what I am meant to do
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